reflections on 2009

This is my last post for 2009. What a year it's been with lots of ups and downs, but mainly ups. Hoping for happiness and good health in 2010

A Year in Review

Added a fourth bedroom to our house
Transitioned Batu to his big boy bed; he loves it (and he only fell out once)
Replaced two tires in our car from nail punctures. Ouch! Major expense
Welcomed little Ayla Marie into our world
Purchased a second car, the Subaru Outback. I have not even driven it yet (goal for 2010)
Batu got his ear tubes and they are working
Completed another great year at Fidelity
Celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary in Newburyport without children
Saw a movie in the theater for the first time since May 2007 (Julie and Julia)
Discovered several shortcuts to enter the Mass Pike to avoid paying tolls
Befriended the Newman family who graciously let me park my car in their driveway every morning so I could take the express bus to work
Met more neighbors but failed to keep in touch with some good old friends
Cheered with delight upon learning our grumpy old neighbors from our Cambridge condo moved out
Got back in touch with the Lizard (a friend from my first job out of college)
Continued to twirl my hair (I need to kick the habit, but how? Shave my head?)

There's probably more stuff but this is all I can think of for now, as it's getting late.

Bye bye 2009

comedy of errors

This pumping thing is for the birds. Just as Ayla fell asleep after nursing, I got a call from the oil company saying they would come by to clean out our burner within the hour. Great! In the meantime, my mom is en route to visit me. My plan was to wait until my mom got here in about 15 minutes so I can pump, not wanting to risk pumping if the oil guy showed up. As luck would have it, my mom called saying she was stuck in gridlock traffic on 128N. So, I decided to risk pumping for 10 minutes thinking, "what are the chances the guy shows up?" I had to put a note on our door with my cell phone # because our doorbell does not work. So, about 4 minutes into pumping, I see the oil guy pull into my driveway. Is someone playing a nasty trick on me?

Ayla Marie Kandamr: The First Two Weeks

It's hard to believe Ayla is already two weeks old. I forgot how challenging it is getting used to a newborn, in addition to learning how to balance our attention to our two year old. Batu is trying to adjust to having a sister. His first comments when we brought Ayla home were, "Can I touch her nose? Does she have big feet? She cannot wear my hat." We regularly talked about the "baby" to Batu while I was pregnant but now that she is here, reality is sinking in. Ozan has been home the last two weeks to help out, but Batu tends to get a little lost in the chaotic shuffle while I tend to Ayla and Ozan tries to maintain the house. Batu continually asks for "Mommy" whenever Ozan is with Batu and he's had a few temper tantrums, one so severe that he vomited. He's also getting over a cold and pink eye. Batu is back to daycare today so I am hoping things will get a little better.

The other big adjustment has been breastfeeding. Ayla's been really sleepy while nursing and did not readily re-gain weight by the sixth day. So I've been pumping and supplementing with extra breast milk. We are feeding her every three hours and it's been a non-stop cycle of nursing, pumping, supplementing, washing out bottles and pumping equipment, putting her to sleep then gearing up to start the entire routine again. We go to the doctor's today for her two week check up so I am hopeful her weight is up.

Our next big hurdle is to find childcare for Ayla. Our daycare may have a spot for her in the spring and I'll find out this week. If not, we are toying with the idea of hiring a nanny or au pair. I return to work in March so we have some time to sort things out.

spare tire anyone?

On the way to Isis Maternity to pick up a few extra items this morning, our car's flat tire indicator light came on. I actually felt like the little red nefarious light reached out and jolted me. At the store, we checked the tires and they seemed intact. After we got home Ozan noticed a nail in the right rear tire. So, there you have it, a slow leak from a punctured tire and no service stations opened on Sunday. The Beamer comes with free tow service (hurrah) so tomorrow we'll get towed to a dealership and hope, pray and beg them to fix this asap. I'll be stuck working from home and my parents will swing by in the morning to take Batu to daycare. With nine days until my due date, this is the last thing we need. But I am trying to look on the bright side of things. I still have nine days to go. We didn't get stuck on the road with a flat. The flat didn't happen on the way to the hospital. So there, I feel much better.

what went wrong?

Em, if you are reading this, here's a really good "what went wrong". . .So last night things were looking spectacular as far as preparing for today's trip to Turkey (minus the glass biting incident, see yesterday's post). Around 9pm Ozan comes downstairs and says, "there is some news." He told me that his Turkish passport expired in June! Ahhhhrrrggghhh. Today we tried, desperately, to check-in at Logan. However, the Lufthansa ticket agent told us that since Ozan was flying through Frankfurt en route to Istanbul, he could not enter Germany with an expired passport. If, however, we were flying direct to Turkey, it would have been ok. After a few contentious words exchanged, Ozan decided to speak with the Lufthansa supervisor. We got the same curt message. No go. Well, the good news is that tomorrow O will drive to NYC to get his passport renewed and we rescheduled the flights for Saturday, free of charge. So all in all, not so bad minus missing a few days in Turkey and a long day trip to NYC. As for me, thinking O and B would be high in the sky tonight, I had made dinner plans with my friend Megan, which I'm keeping, and really looking forward to since I didn't have lunch today. Alls well that ends well? You decide.

this and that

Well, it's my last night to give Batu a bath, read books and kiss him goodnight. Ok, so I'm a little sad about him going to Turkey for so long. Sigh. And, something almost went wrong today. During dinner, Batu bit on his glass of milk and a huge chunk of glass broke off. The glass broke into two solid pieces, one of which ended up in Batu's mouth. I almost had a stroke. Luckily, I got the chunk out of his mouth without any harm.

i'm just waiting. . .

. . .for something to go wrong. Ozan and Batu head to Turkey in three days and I keep waiting for Batu to get a fever, Ozan to sprain his ankle, or I go into premature labor. Ok, so the glass if half empty for me lately.

too much going on

After a little lapse in blogging, I am back. The last few months were hectic at the Kandamar compound. Namely, our contstruction project has consumed most of our time, energy and will power. We added a wall separating our master bedroom to create a new, fourth bedroom for the bambino. All the major construction is done except a few irksome electrical items like adding a new dimmer to Batu's room, fixing some exposed junction boxes in our ceiling, and patching a newly discovered short circuit that periodically shuts down the electricity on one side of our house.

However, the worst part of this ordeal was bunking in our guest room for the past 8 weeks where we stuffed two extra bureaus and a second rug. All was fine up until the last few weeks of the heat wave where I had to sleep on our living room couch due to lack of AC in the guest quarters. To make matters worse, I got staph infection on my arm from a mosquito bite. The antiboitics cleared it up, only to leave me with a lovely parting gift -- the worst yeast infection of my life.

I am looking forward to a little break as Ozan and Batu will be heading off to Turkey for almost three weeks. But knowing that something will likely go wrong between now and then, I will stop now.

punked

Ok, so my husband discovered my blog. Not that I was intentionally keeping this a secret, but I sort of casually forgot to mention it to him. Now he is paranoid that some crazy people are going to "find us." He told me if he googled our son's name, he finds the blog. I can't imagine postings about ear tubes, vomiting and sleepless nights are going to attract a lot of attention.

forgot to add something about books

I have reacquainted myself with the public library and have put my card to good use over the last month. I am now reading Happens Every Day by Isabel Gillies. The author is kind of annoying and I wonder why she didn't see the red flags when marrying someone who divorced his wife at age 28 while pregnant with their first child and was having an affair. Apparently Starbucks likes it too.

special clothes

I took the day off work today for a "me" day. I got a wonderful facial then had a turkey panini. After lunch I headed out to Destination Maternity for some clothes. I forgot how dreadful shopping for maternity clothes can be. Not only do the clothes make you look bigger than you are, but they're damn expensive. Unfortunately I need decent clothes for work and had to splurge a bit. And when did maternity stores saleswomen get so annoying? I'm a shopper who does not need or require assistance from annoying saleswomen, but this time I could not avoid it. I'm going to stick with online shopping from the Gap and Old Navy.

ERA Results

I got my ERA results today, earlier than expected. The ratios for 3 chromosomal defects came out fine, but my PAPPA protein was "on the low-side." The genetic counselor said that it may be a sign 3rd trimester growth restrictions, in which I will undergo some additional ultrasounds. That's it? I'm going to call my OB tomorrow, as I can't possibly wait until my next appt on May 21st to find out more information. I'm afraid I am tempted to go off on a google hunt before I talk to my doctor. Ugh.

what have I been doing lately?

Now that I am hitting the 12-week mark, I am not as tired anymore and actually have some energy left at the end of the night to do normal things like read and yes, blog! Boy, I don't recall being so tired when I was pregnant with Batu. I suppose being a little older, working and chasing Batu around take a toll with all those surging hormones. I had my early risk assessment appointment today and in a week I should find out my risk factors. The doctors at MGH are so clear to emphasize that the ERA is merely an indicator for any potential issues. I'm still contemplating the amnio, even if the "score" comes out low.

As for the reading, I shamefully picked up a copy of Twilight at the libray and can't put the stupid book down since I started reading it on Saturday. I will likely finish it tonight. It makes me want to be 18 again. After reading this, I'm not sure how easy it will be to dive into the Northern Clemency which is in my queue.

monkey business

Batu used to have this fond affection for his little monkey stuffed animal (appropriately named "monkey"), to the point of cuddling with him in his crib. In fact Ozan and I were really surprised that Batu warmed up to a lovie because he's not a cuddly type of kid. Now he has developed this love/hate relationship where he tosses and flings monkey around in the crib, and then eventually stands up and tosses "monkey" out of the crib and whines, "My monkey." Since I am still sitting in the rocking chair until he settles down to sleep (more on that later), I have been picking monkey up and giving it back to Batu. A few nights this stupid game went on for far too long to the point where I had to mysteriously remove monkey until Batu fell asleep. Oh the little games we play!

On another note, we're less than 36 hours until tube day. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

4 days and counting, hoping

So far so good. Batu has a little runny nose but as long as it does not manifest into wheezing or a cough by Wed, we should be ok (knock on wood). I've been loading him up with vitamins all week and trying to get him to eat oranges. I wish I could keep him home Monday and Tuesday next week to incubate him from the daycare germ pool but my parents are in FL and we don't have a babysitter (although I am on the hunt for one).

The other annoying thing we are dealing with is adjusting Batu back to a normal bedtime after daylight savings time. Like clockwork, he's falling asleep exactly one hour later (9 instead of 8) and it's driving us nuts!

I promise to write about something much more exciting than ear tubes and adnoids after next week. Really.

the countdown begins again

Ok, we need to get through the next 11 days as Batu's tubes surgery is March 18th. Perhaps St. Patrick can send some lucky charms our way. At least he's getting used to the nebulizer (also known as the "neb") and hopefully we won't need it for a while.

delayed

Well, as I suspected we didn't have the surgery yesterday. The anesthesiologist thought B had too much going on and wanted to wait a month. After coming off a week long GI virus, B still had a rash all over his arms and legs and was absolutely miserable yesterday morning leading up to the surgery appointment. He vomited the night before the surgery at 2am (not sure why, maybe reflux?), then only slept for three hours. We forced him to drink pedialyte from 6am - 7am then stopped (per the "no liquid 3 hours before surgery" rule). He cried the entire morning asking for milk and crackers. I felt like we were torturing him. Our new date is March 18th.

On the Kandamar home front, my parents are now stricken with this nefarious GI thing. I'm more worried about my mom given she is almost done with her treatments at Dana Farber and this could derail everything. Things have to get better, right?

I took B to the walk-in clinic this morning to look at his rash and puffy eyes. She diagnosed the rash as viral and called it something long and nasty. She said the puffy, swollen eyes was "all related" to the rash. In a few years, I will be a pro at self diagnosis for children and will save our family a lot of co-payments.

the countdown begins

Let's see, after four days of Batu's vomiting and diarrhea from a stomach virus, two days of mom vomiting from the same thing, and one day of red spots all over Batu's arms and legs, the Kandamar's are ready to go to the surgical center tomorrow for Batu's surgery! Seriously, we are hoping things go as planned. I'm annoyed the procedure is at 10am, which means Batu can't drink anything after 7am tomorrow. He's going to be really cranky. I want tomorrow to be over, and this whole ordeal to be behind us. Of course, I'm scared silly.

really going insane

The daycare called today and they opened with, "it's not an emergency." So my heart managed to jump back up from its initial sinking after I saw the daycare number appear on my phone. However, they regretted to inform me that Batu was projectile vomiting and we had to pick him up. Ok, that may qualify as an emergency in my book. Anyway, Ozan went to get him and I have not been able to concentrate at work all day. Batu is barely getting over a cold and bronchitis. We just finished a round of antibiotics on Tuesday and now this! I am praying that it's only a 24-hour bug. Nobody told me parenting was so difficult.

tired

I'm exhausted. It's Sunday night and I'm dreading work tomorrow. Batu was sick last week with a cold and bronchitis. We started him on a nebulizer and four days of oral prednisone. The steroid seems to work, but he can't sit still for the nebulizer. This week he has his pre-op appointment and we hope he gets the clear for surgery on Feb 11th. I'm so sick of him being sick! I am beating myself up for having him in daycare. He was not sick once his first year when we had our nanny. I am also tired of listening to people tell me how he'll build up immunity, blah blah blah. I've spent the last three days in my house and I'm going crazy. I just want to be somewhat normal again.

the "n" word

Last week Batu did something really strange. We were playing in the living room when he suddenly walked over to the couch, grabbed a pillow, put it on the floor and lay down. Then he looked up at me and said, "Nap." He lay still for a few seconds and said it again. Then again. I assumed he learned this in daycare since the toddlers take a scheduled nap everyday. With this new discovery, I decided to try a little experiment. I usually sit in Batu's room for about 10 minutes after I put him down in his crib at night. Then I go downstairs until he falls asleep, which can take up to 1/2 hour sometimes. Last night, I sat in the chair and waited a few minutes. Then in soft voice, I said, "shh, nap, nap." After five minutes, it was totally quiet. I walked over to the crib and he was asleep. I repeated the "n" word again this evening and he was asleep in 10 minutes. Is his my child or an impostor?

fearless climber

My son is a climber. The other day he was meandering around our mudroom area, near our kitchen table. I dashed into the den to grab something, and when I came back, he was perched on top of our kitchen table like a cat, smiling! Is this climbing fixation a new skill? And if so, when does the fascination end? He loves to climb on chairs, sit for a moment, climb back down then start the process all over again. He climbs onto our couch. He even climbs on me! Do they make rock walls for todders?

end of the day frustrations

Every night I come home from work, pick up Batu from daycare, and prepare myself for a miserable hour of preparing Batu's dinner, then trying to get him to eat while telling him it's not polite to throw food on the floor or crush food in our bare hands. I know I need to be more patient but it's just so frustrating feeding my son. And I'm frustrated with myself for being so frustrated.

Movies 9-1-1

After watching the first hour and a half of the Golden Globes, I've come to the dismal realization that I have not seen a movie (in the theater) since May 2007. And what was up with Drew Barrymore's hair? Oh, and I still have a crush on Adrian Grenier. Sigh.

tubes and adenoids, another fun day for the Kandamar's

Both our pediatrician and now the ENT are recommending ear tubes and adenoid removal for Batu. We went ahead and made an appt for his surgery for Feb 11th. He's had four ear infections since August, and about five or six colds and sinus infections. I think we were in denial at first, but now I've come to the realization that this procedure will really help him. I'm really worried about the general anesthesia though. I feel so guilty when I'm with him, knowing this is coming up and he has no idea! He's on his latest, and hopefully last round of antibiotics before the procedure. Ozan keeps reminding me that his family has a history of enlarged adenoids. Both Ozan and his mom are persistent snorers, and Batu is known to snore up a storm every now and then. I wonder when we'll be ready for the next one?